I Am Critical...

I can be critical sometimes.  Sometimes this is great because I’m constructively critical.  I am one of those people who is rarely satisfied with how things are going or how things went.  I can almost always find ways I would tweak what was done, do things different, or not do something all together.  This is especially good when we’re debriefing our own ministry because we need to be working hard to get better all the time.  However, when you attend a weekend program, a camp, or just about anything that someone else puts together, this “skill” can get you into trouble when you combine it with a big mouth. 

Here is my problem.  First, sometimes I can slip from “constructively critical” to just plain critical.  Second, when I don’t keep my big mouth closed, I can seem like a total jerk.  Here are a few things that I’ve been working on…

·         Speak when spoken to:  Sometimes people want feedback, sometimes they don’t.   I’ve learned the hard way that when they want feedback, they will ask for it.  I’ve been trying to keep that James 1:19, slow to speak, thing fresh in my head.  I wish more people asked for feedback because there is a LOT of growing to do in the world of youth ministry, but that’s a different matter.

·         Think before you speak:  When you are asked, think before you speak.  Tact goes a long way in communicating.  How you say what you say is equally as important as what you say.

·         Relationships help:  If you know me, you know I love middle school ministry and I do not like to see it done without intentionality.  It drives me crazy when it feels like a “watered down” high school ministry program, or worse yet, it is a high school ministry program that the organizers expect will work just fine for the middle school audience.  When you know me, you know that I LOVE the people who do middle school ministry.  Thus, when I have something to say about a program, it’s not that I don’t like you, I just want to see middle school ministry stuff shine and if you can tweak something and shine, I want to share that with you.  When you don’t know me from “Adam” you’ll think I’m attacking you because you don’t know my heart.

·         I’m not the only voice out there:  Sure I’ve been doing this a while, but that certainly does not mean that I have THE answers.  I have ONE answer (and maybe not even a good answer).  I can’t/shouldn’t/won’t expect anyone to do what I say.  That’s arrogant.  I simple desire to be a voice that sings in a choir of voices you might listen to as you seek to make what you do better.

There you have it.  I can be critical.  I hate that!  But I love who God has wired me to be and I pray that with His help, I can continue to trumpet middle school ministry in a healthy way.

What do you think?  Should you even open your mouth to others ministries?  Should you give feedback at all?  Is it healthy?  It is arrogant?  Is it helpful?