in the middle school ministry trench...

Middle School Small Groups and Friendships

2011-11-18T09:07:00.001-06:00

I am leading a volunteer through the book “Middle SchoolMinistry” by Mark Oestreicher and Scott Rubin. Today we talked about the chapter on friendships. If you’ve read the book, or you have worked with middle school students for more than an hour, you know that friendships can be intimate, deep, water tight, volatile, shaky, brittle, and unpredictable all in the same day. So, how do you structure your small groups? At the 30,000 foot level, in our ministry we have structured our groups by grade and gender. This is a great starting point. However, when you dig down from there, how to you break the students up within that grade and gender? Do you keep all the friends together (they may not be friends next week)? Do you split them all up and have a melting pot of students? Do you keep consistent small groups each week or do you mix them up each week? Does the answer to this question change between sixth and eighth grade? What do you think? How do we best set up our groups for success in not only their small group experience, but the cultivation of friendships?

Advent is coming…

2011-11-16T09:00:00.002-06:00

Advent is just two weeks away and in our context with the coming of Advent comes a very exciting time for our push toward intergenerational ministry. In our church, Advent is one of the times in the year where we have committed to putting student ministry on hold so we can intentionally encourage families to worship together in the corporate worship services. The Sticky Faith research has played a large role in moving us in this direction. You can read in Kara Powell’s new book “Sticky Faith” that although there is not really a “silver bullet” for building sticky faith in our kids, there are some trends that seems to be very significant and students worshiping in a corporate setting is one of those trends.

“Involvement in all-church worship during high school is more consistently linked with mature faith in both high school and college than any other form of church participation.” – Kara Powell

In our context, families are largely single service families. Thus, when they arrive on campus each week, students will attend the student ministry and never set foot in the worship center. We hope to change this, little by little, as we encourage families to worship together. If you think of it, please be in prayer for us as we seek to lead in this new direction.

Brain Quotes...

2011-11-14T20:57:00.000-06:00

Random Quotes from “Beautiful Brains” by David Dobbs

National Geographic - Oct 2011

This article was only slightly helpful. I found the author’s worldview in such stark contrast to my own that many of this conclusions were not helpful. However, as with all of us, he did get part of the story right. Here are a few quotes from the article that I found thought provoking if not helpful.

Teenagers value rewards more than consequences. In situations where risk can get them something they want, they value the reward more than the risk or consequence.

The hunt for novelty can go awry when teens try to top each new kick with another, more intense one. But it also helps them find their path.

B J Casey - neuroscientist: there is nothing wrong with a teenager questioning their parent’s beliefs. That's normal and healthy. It helps a teen develop a sense of identity.

Laurence Steinberg - think of teen choices as an equation were consequences are not given the weight they should be. And when teens are around friends, that throws the equation off even more.

Some brain scans show teens react to peer exclusion in much the same way as they respond to physical health or food supply. At a neural level they perceive social rejection as a threat to existence.

Studies show when parents engage and guide their teens with a light but steady hand their kids generally do much better in life.

Sitting in “Big Church”

2011-11-10T10:12:00.000-06:00

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I am on a quest with our church leadership to transition the ethos of our church to a place where intergenerational relationships are the norm, not the exception. For us, one of the flagship changes that we are seeking to bring about in this process is seeking to have more of our students engage with our corporate worship services. If you know anything about my church, you know we are not generally considered “fluffy” in our teaching. Our senior pastor is an amazing expository preacher and he does not “water things down.” In the ten years I have been here I have seen our pastor come to use language that is more accessible by more people, adjust his delivery style to be less tied to his notes, and incorporate more transparent examples when appropriate. However, in all these changes, he has not compromised his commitment to Scripture and expository preaching. I love my pastor and enjoy sitting under his teaching each week.

One of the things I hear most often from parents when we talk about the corporate worship service centers around our pastor and his preaching. In some form or fashion what people often say is “my kids don’t get anything out of the sermons, they are over their heads.” This same comment has been articulated by adults when asked about why they don’t invite friends and neighbors to church. Responses to this type of question go something like “please don’t change the style of preaching, that is why we are here, but I would not invite a friend, it’s too deep.” All this causes me to pause a bit. Is this a problem? I don’t think so. I think it’s more an issue with expectation.

Today, I received an email from our high school pastor who included the dialogue he had on facebook with one of our college freshmen. The last line of the conversation included this statement. “I miss pastor tom’s preaching a lot.” WOW! I heard the parent of several elementary students recently say how much they enjoyed having their kids in the service because of all they learn.

Another thought comes to mind when I think about the brain research that has surfaced over the past five years. Mark Ostreicher quotes Dr. Jay Giedd and his “use it or lose it principle” in his book “Middle School Ministry”. The concept here is that students need to be using their brains if they are going to see growth in their brains occur. If this is the case, why not challenge our kids with more opportunity to “use it”? Why not ask them to think about a sermon they hear? Why not then position parents to have conversations with their teens after those services, mine nuggets learned, and share insights they themselves had? Why not? We expect they can’t handle it. We expect they will be board. We expect too little.

What do you think?

Sharing Stories of Future Hope

2011-11-06T15:55:00.002-06:00

I’ve written before about our desire as a local church to move to a place where we are more intergenerational. This is a huge DNA and ethos shift, not just a slight programmatic tweak. Intergenerational is not the result of throwing a few people from different generations into the same room. That may be multigenerational, but it is not intergenerational. Intergenerational ministry is when people from multiple generations are ministering together, learning together, sharing with one another, and most importantly teaching each other. And none of these things is a one-way street from oldest to youngest. We believe our adults can learn from our students as much as our students can learn from our adults.

However, as we seek to implement this more holistic approach to ministry, there are challenges. I heard it said (maybe by Dr. Scott Cormode of Fuller Seminary) that people are not afraid of change, but they are afraid of loss. This is so true and what we are trying to do has the potential to feel like loss to people. Why? Not because we are doing away with any one thing in particular, but because we are making adjustments that may take people out of their comfort zones and into unknown and uncharted territory. When you leave the known for the unknown it can feel like loss.

Dr. Cormode has also mentioned that if we are to help people through times of change one thing that can be a significant benefit to the process is sharing stories of future hope. I have struggled with really grasping what he was talking about until last night. My wife graduated from Wheaton College and there was a gathering of Wheaton graduates at a friend’s house last night. At this gathering, Dr. Phil Ryken, the president of Wheaton College, took about 20 minutes to share some of his experiences on campus. As he talked and shared stories of students and faculty, I was struck by his approach. I am a Taylor University graduate and if you know anything about the TU culture, there is a fun rivalry between TU and Wheaton. Thus, I have no real vested interest in hearing about Wheaton College, but by the time Dr. Ryken was finished I wanted to send my kids to Wheaton. I was on board with the mission and vision of the college. Through the entire presentation I found myself thinking “this is what Dr. Cormode was talking about.” This is the power of story. This is how we help our families to see the value of intergenerational ministry. We share stories. I get it.

Divorce...

2011-10-13T10:28:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we have theology because we have studied the Scriptures and we have concluded what we believe. Hopefully, for the most part, we are confident in our theology, but not certain. The older I get the less I am certain of. However, when it comes to ministering to people, I am certain there will always be pain and suffering that we are called to care for. Families that fall apart due to divorce are just one of the causes of such pain.

When it comes to divorce, we know from research that evangelical couples are not that much different than couples who do not profess faith. footnote So we should not be surprised when kids in our ministries suffer this fracture in their family. The question then is not “what if” but rather “when” students find themselves in a dissolving family, what will we do? Here are a few thoughts…

We must confront the situation head on. It’s easy to find ourselves beating around the bush when talking with students because we don’t want to break confidences or make students more uncomfortable. Yet, when it comes to the pain and questions they ARE facing in this situation it is important we take the lead and address the situation head on.
We must be in it for the long haul. Meeting with a middle school student one time and asking them how they are doing is more likely to illicit at “fine” response than a genuine one. It takes time for students to open up to the level which allows them share their heart. We must be in the relationship for the long haul. The pain of divorce does not go away with a few short meetings.
Don’t forget the parents. Maybe it’s because I’m the parent of teenagers and the couples divorcing in my group happen to be my friends, but this new perspective has lead me to be much more concerned for and attentive to the parents who are suffering through divorce. Find them a support group and journey with them as well as their kids.

What do you do? How do you help kids caught in a family that is breaking apart? What resources do you have that have helped you?

Intergenerational Worship...

2011-10-08T10:22:00.000-05:00

As we have wrestled with the concept of “sticky faith” in our context, the importance of intergenerational worship has risen to the top of our list of adjustments to make. Like so many churches, we have enjoyed years of great age appropriate and age segmented ministry. These individual ministries have been amazing and have been effective in many ways. However, in the past few years, we have noticed an increase in the number of students who refer to the student ministry programming at their church. In fact, some have stated their parents go to “Christ Community” but they themselves go to “encounter” or another youth program.

In an effort to begin to more holistically incorporate our students into the life of the body, we see the corporate worship service as playing a significant part. For this reason, we have cancelled our Sunday morning student programs for about 12 weeks of our year. These cancellations force our families to attend corporate worship together where our students have the chance to meet more adults and feel more a part of our congregation. In addition, it gives our adults a great chance to meet students and be positively impacted by their energy, spirit, and youthful zeal. It is definitely a two way street and a win-win situation.

We have chosen to focus our time around Advent and Lent, cancelling four or five weeks in a row for each of these two seasons. In addition, we have taken the opportunity around Spring Break and July 4 to also cancel. These windows offer us a balance of age segmented and age appropriate ministry while holding up the significant value of being together as a corporate body.

Has this been easy? No! Has there been resistance? Yes! Is it worth it? You bet! We look forward to where we are going and what awaits us.

*This blog post was first written for Kara Powell and the Stick Faith blog. It was recently posted on Scott McKnight's blog and received a fair number of comments (many of which challenged why we would even be in the position of offering a middle school worship service in the first place. The following is a response to those comments).

I originally wrote this blog post for Kara and the Sticky Faith website as a way to transparently express how our church is seeking to build “sticky faith” in the lives of our teenagers. There is a lot right about age appropriate ministry in the church today, but there are some things that we are discovering may not as healthy as we thought they were, or at least they are having some unintended negative consequences we did not imagine when we decided to implement them. A large group worship service on Sunday morning, at least in our context, is one of these areas.

I am over 40 and when I was a teen, we went to Sunday School and church. We were at church whenever the doors were open as were most of our friends. However, in the context I currently live and minister in, this is nowhere near the case. Most families are so involved in other things they only attend one service on Sunday mornings. It’s all they can fit into their busy lives (a whole new matter entirely to discuss). When the student ministry offers ANYTHING during the hour they are there, Sunday School, small groups, or a large group program, most students will opt for the student ministry program rather than the corporate worship service. Most parents would encourage this choice. In fact, some of the flack we have taken for cancelling ministry like we have has included families considering moving to another church down the street where families can get what they want.

Change is hard and must be managed well. We are in a larger church context with multi-site implications and significant history and preferences to overcome. We are excited about where we are going and will continue to make adjustments and changes that hopefully lead to a more significantly sticky faith in the lives of our teenagers. The struggles your church faces may be different than the struggles we face in my context, but the question remains, how are you doing at building sticky faith in your teens? Are you going about your business blind to the realities of students leaving not only your church but their faith when they graduate or are you actively seeking ways to adapt your ministry and encourage a deep and sticky faith? What needs to change in your context and how are you going about changing it?

Daughters and Dads...

2011-09-29T10:34:00.003-05:00

If you’re looking for a good book to recommend to the dads in your ministry, Daughters and Dads is one I would suggest. This is a simple book, written in large type just for those dads who are not inclined to read much. However, don’t let the layout fool you, there are some great tips and words of wisdom found within these pages. Chap Clark has been beating the drum of how “Hurt” this generation of teenagers are, but in this book, he spends all his time helping dads invest in the lives of their teenage daughters. Could this investment be a counter-balance to the abandonment our kids feel? I think so. Order a copy today, read it, and then pass it out to the dads in your group.

Boys Punch - Girls Talk

2011-09-27T10:06:00.002-05:00

Have you noticed that when you show up to your weekly program at church the boys are running around tackling each other? How they jump on your back, punch your arm, try to wrestle you and knock you over? This is how boys relate to each other and how they show affection and say “I like you.” So, when you are trying to connect with a boy like this, talking with them may not mean much. Playing with them will mean the world.

On the other hand, although there are a few girls who will be running around, they are more likely talking or gathered in packs doing whatever it is they do in those packs. Connecting with girls is more about verbal communication. A colorful note means the world to a girl, and a phone call can be worth ten notes. Someone who will listen to them is what they crave. Will you listen?

Outside of program times contacting can be more challenging. Volunteers have families and responsibilities that may keep them from attending sporting events and other activities on a regular basis. However, don’t let that keep you from encouraging them to try and get to one thing this semester. That one connection can be the thing that makes all the difference in the world. Beyond that, will you make a phone call? Will you take some time to shoot some hoops? Will you go out of your way to say an encouraging word when one can be said? These are big ways to connect with kids.

Boundaries...

2011-09-24T10:04:00.000-05:00

We all know boundaries are good things. We know that without them we can loose our way, step into territory that is very dangerous, and even get hurt or worse. When it comes to ministry with young teens boundaries are also very important. Boundaries for discipline, boundaries for activities, boundaries for students, and, yes, boundaries for staff. Here are some reminders of the importance of boundaries in connecting with students.

Connecting with students is what we long for. It’s what we encourage you to be doing. We all know that “real” ministry and discipleship happens more effectively over a Starbucks coffee or on the basketball court. Trouble is, in today’s culture, these connections can lead to unhealthy accusations and the blurring of clear boundaries if we are not careful. Here are a few boundaries we have in place for the protection of both our students and our volunteer staff.

Let someone know: When volunteers are meeting with students, we ask them to drop one of our paid staff an email and let us know. Not so we can micro-manage, but so we can cover their back and, with good conscience, let others know what is going on in the ministry.
Three is not a crowd: Although the one on one meeting is a great chance for in depth conversation, it’s becoming a thing of the past. It is usually better to take two kids with you that one.
Use your head: Sometimes there are situations that come up that dictate you do something you may not normally do. In all situations, use your head. Remember number 1 above and make a few phone calls when placed in a difficult situation. Never assume that you’ll be okay or that “just this once” you’ll take care of this or that.

Remember, you are an adult! You have a good head on your shoulders. Use it! Sometimes things are not as neat as they need to be. Sometimes it’s not possible to follow every letter of every law, yet when those rare situations arise, everyone is counting on you to act like the adult you are and act responsibly.

What boundaries to you have set up in your ministry?

The Temptation of Power…

2011-09-23T10:40:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in my last post that I am reading “In theName of Jesus” by Henri Nouwen and it is kicking my butt. Nouwen talks about the temptation of power and I have to say (sadly) that I think this is an issue for me. Those of you who know me might resonate with these words of Nouwen “I had come to believe that growing older and more mature meant that I would be increasingly able to offer leadership. In fact, I had grown more self-confident over the years. I felt I knew something and had the ability to express it and be heard. In that sense I felt more and more in control.” WOW! If I were honest, those words could be mine. If you read my post on constructive criticismand a critical spirit, this may be a deeper look at why I have a tendency to be more critical than helpful.

Nouwen goes on to say “what makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible? Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.” Am I that much of a jerk? I am on a quest for power? For control? Lord, may you work in my heart to soften me and help me learn to love.

Youth Worker Vulnerability…

2011-09-21T10:29:00.001-05:00

This is something I have struggled with for years (and continue to struggle with). Everyone needs a group of people they trust. A group of people they can confide in, share with, vent to, be pushed by, be challenged by. The question for the youth worker is “who”? Is these people in your church or outside your church. I have been involved with local networks of youth workers since I started in ministry for this very purpose and have found it very helpful. Yet, I continue to wrestle with if the transparency you might have with another youth worker outside your church context might also be healthy to have with a trusted few who are a bit closer to you and your context.

I’ve been reading “In the Name of Jesus” by Henri Nouwen because my co-worker and friend Kris Fernhout (@kriscanuck) suggested we read it as a student ministry staff. I’ve loved it! Nouwen suggests that “ministry is communal and mutual experience.” Later he says “I have found over and over again how hard it is to be truly faithful to Jesus when I am alone.” Okay, so I totally buy that and have lived it with other youth workers. But then Nouwen goes on to say “Jesus wants Peter to feed his sheep and care for them, not as ‘professionals’ who know their clients’ problems and take care of them, but as vulnerable brothers and sisters who know and are known, who care and are cared for, who forgive and are being forgiven, who love and are being loved…Somehow we have come to believe that good leadership requires a safe distance from those we are called to lead.” Ouch! That hurts! That suggests I need to be more transparent with people I minister to.

How can I do that? My friends are elders in my church, parents of students in my ministry, and volunteers in our ministry (I am old you know). These people used to be the “old” people in the church that I was intimidated by. Now they are my friends. My peers. How do you tell the parent of a teenager in your ministry you’re not perfect? Okay, I know they already know that, but in my insecurity, I want them to respect me, trust me, validate me. They have PHD’s, I work with 12 year olds. Sometimes that’s a bit intimidating.

How do you deal with this? What advice can you give another traveler in the trenches of ministry?

Sunday School vs. Small Group…

2011-09-17T10:08:00.000-05:00

We have a ton of great small group leaders and I am grateful. Over the past few years we have started to encourage some of our leaders to move out of middle school and into high school with their small group. After reading “Hurt” by Dr. Chap Clark, we started to wonder if we, as a ministry, we contributing to the feeling of abandonment in teens when we build great relationships with them in middle school only to dump them when they graduate. We ask them to start all over again with new leaders as they enter a very difficult transition and have increasing feelings of abandonment. I’ve not landed on “the” answer, but it seems good to send some of our middle school leaders along with our students into high school.

One of the biggest challenges this decision has placed on the middle school ministry is the need to recruit more volunteers. We have traditionally had a very high retention rate with our volunteers (most have been involved for more than five years), but when you “kick some out” you naturally need to recruit more. One the flip side, this has also netted some desire in the children’s ministry volunteers to move up with their Sunday school class. This year, we have a decent number who have made the leap from 5^th grade to 6^th grade; from Sunday school teacher to small group leader.

I’ve noticed we need to equip these new small group leaders a bit differently than we equip a leader who is simply new to ministry. The difference between children’s ministry and student ministry is pretty big and without some proper training, equipping, guiding, our small groups will become mini-Sunday school classes. It seems that most of these new leaders are used to teaching rather than facilitating. They are used to giving information rather than drawing it out of people. They are used to “dumping” rather than helping students to “discover.”

There is nothing wrong with where they are. What they have been doing is developmentally appropriate for children. Yet, as these students hit middle school, they need to start to think more deeply. They need to start connecting the dots of all the information they have swimming in their heads. They need to start figuring out “why” something is the way it is rather than just accepting the teachers word for it.

How have you helped your small group leaders catch this vision? I’m confident these new leaders will become some of our best, but we need to help them get there.

Small Groups Off Site…

2011-09-08T08:13:00.000-05:00

Although I get to be the middle school pastor at my church, I am also the student ministry pastor which means I have the privilege of overseeing a great team in our student ministry department. As a result, I also get to think about high school ministry from time to time. Couple this with the fact that I have one middle schooler and two high schoolers and sometimes I get a perspective on ministry to students as “the old guy” that might be missed if you don’t have teenagers.

Here’s my question for the day. How do you deal with small groups that meet off site during the week? We have done this for years. Our middle school ministry meets onsite while there are other happenings at church for elementary school kids and adults. However, do to both a philosophical stance (we believe small groups in home are more inviting and more conducive to conversation) and a pragmatic necessity (we have no space for high school small groups onsite) we have chosen to host our high school small groups offsite for years.

What’s the issue? It’s crazy! When you have a middle schooler going one direction, a freshman going another direction, and a sophomore (who does not yet drive) going a third direction, it’s a zoo! Carpools are great, but they are complicated and take a lot of work to organize and keep operating. I am vested in this ministry thing (obviously), but I can imagine there are a lot of families that are not nearly as much so. I’m not sure I blame them for dropping out. It’s hard to get your kids where they need to go.

On the other hand, families (mine included) cart all over town for any number of other activities throughout the week and I’m not sure we belly-ache nearly as much or as loud for those inconveniences. Ahhh! What to do? Do you hold your small groups off-site? What have you found to work well in communicating to parents the “why” behind the craziness you put them through for this decision?

I Am Critical...

2011-09-05T14:56:00.002-05:00

I can be critical sometimes. Sometimes this is great because I’m constructively critical. I am one of those people who is rarely satisfied with how things are going or how things went. I can almost always find ways I would tweak what was done, do things different, or not do something all together. This is especially good when we’re debriefing our own ministry because we need to be working hard to get better all the time. However, when you attend a weekend program, a camp, or just about anything that someone else puts together, this “skill” can get you into trouble when you combine it with a big mouth.

Here is my problem. First, sometimes I can slip from “constructively critical” to just plain critical. Second, when I don’t keep my big mouth closed, I can seem like a total jerk. Here are a few things that I’ve been working on…

· Speak when spoken to: Sometimes people want feedback, sometimes they don’t. I’ve learned the hard way that when they want feedback, they will ask for it. I’ve been trying to keep that James 1:19, slow to speak, thing fresh in my head. I wish more people asked for feedback because there is a LOT of growing to do in the world of youth ministry, but that’s a different matter.

· Think before you speak: When you are asked, think before you speak. Tact goes a long way in communicating. How you say what you say is equally as important as what you say.

· Relationships help: If you know me, you know I love middle school ministry and I do not like to see it done without intentionality. It drives me crazy when it feels like a “watered down” high school ministry program, or worse yet, it is a high school ministry program that the organizers expect will work just fine for the middle school audience. When you know me, you know that I LOVE the people who do middle school ministry. Thus, when I have something to say about a program, it’s not that I don’t like you, I just want to see middle school ministry stuff shine and if you can tweak something and shine, I want to share that with you. When you don’t know me from “Adam” you’ll think I’m attacking you because you don’t know my heart.

· I’m not the only voice out there: Sure I’ve been doing this a while, but that certainly does not mean that I have THE answers. I have ONE answer (and maybe not even a good answer). I can’t/shouldn’t/won’t expect anyone to do what I say. That’s arrogant. I simple desire to be a voice that sings in a choir of voices you might listen to as you seek to make what you do better.

There you have it. I can be critical. I hate that! But I love who God has wired me to be and I pray that with His help, I can continue to trumpet middle school ministry in a healthy way.

What do you think? Should you even open your mouth to others ministries? Should you give feedback at all? Is it healthy? It is arrogant? Is it helpful?

Fall Parent Meetings...

2011-08-28T18:11:00.003-05:00

I learned something today. Sunday after church is just as bad a time for a parent meeting as any other time in the fall. I should have known this before today, but it sounded like such a good idea so many months ago when we put it down. What I DO know is the fall is crazy. With back to school things as well as every activity, ministry, and club you’re involved with wanting to do a kick off, it seems crazy to ask parents to attend one more meeting. I’m thinking we will change our thinking again on this matter (maybe old dogs can learn new tricks). So, how do you plan and implement fall parent meetings? Do you? Is it worth it?

Hard Work...New Hires...

2011-08-25T09:00:00.002-05:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much those in ministry work lately. One thing that has sparked this line of thought for me is the rewriting of a job description for one of the ladies on our team. For the past five years, we have had a male and a female in both middle school and high school ministries. About a year ago, the female in our high school ministry left to pursue other callings. In the process of seeking to hire this position, our church froze our budgets and new hires due to budget reasons. Thus, we have been short one female for the past year. The past two months have caused us to think that our current staffing level is not just a temporary situation, but more our new normal.

With this in mind, we have decided to try and write a job description for our remaining female that will give her a broader base of responsibility as well as the opportunity to touch the lives of more girls in our ministry. The biggest issue with the components of this new job description is the care of the person filling it. The position is filled with relational responsibility and it can easily lead to burn out and a sense of being overwhelmed. It also seems likely that anyone in this position will have a desire to attend every event our ministries do because of the relational equity that can be gained. So, how do we craft a job description with boundaries? How do we honor the fact that ministry is not a 9-5 position without making it a 24/7 position especially in a job description that has the ability to be so big?

“You think that’s a problem? I’ll tell you what a REAL problem is!”

2011-08-25T08:49:00.000-05:00

Posted by Scott Rubin on juniorhighministry.com

Around Chicagoland, this is the week that most schools jump back into session.
And for a lot of junior highers, that’s a pretty big challenge.

Lots of them headed to new schools, with new people, new teachers.
Lots of them figuring out locker combinations for the first time.
Lots of them will be presented with moral dilemmas starting this very first week.

But if I’m not careful, I can fall into the trap of thinking that middle school problems are “easy”.
I’ve seen adults roll their eyes as they listen to a jr high dilemma.
They’re thinking “I’ll tell you what a real problem is.”

A mortgage to pay.
A high-pressure quota.
An unreasonable boss.
A family to raise.

Even our high school volunteers may look at middle schoolers and think “Wait til you get to high school! That’s when stuff really starts to get challenging!”

But for a middle schooler, the challenges, worries & problems they face are every bit as real (and daunting) for them as the ones that we face in our stage of life.

They’re no “less real” to them… and no less scary than the biggest problem you & I face.
For some middle schoolers, their problems really are “middle school sized”. So they can use those situations to learn what it mean to lean on God and trust Him to show them the way through. At the same time, there are students who are facing issues that are beyond what any junior higher should have to tackle. But there they are.

So before I too quickly jump to concluding that a student’s problems are “easier”… I try remember that their issues are just as “real” as mine are!

Hard Work...Expectations...

2011-08-23T09:00:00.002-05:00

My last post posed a question about how to find a healthy pattern of work in a vocation you love. Today, I want to ask how you lead and direct others in the pursuit of this pattern. I lead a team of other youth workers. Most are a lot younger than I am. I remember being new in ministry and thinking those older than me worked way to much and expected way to much of me as they seemed to impose their values of work on me. I remember thinking, “yeah, but never taking a day off is not healthy. Just because you do it, does not mean I should.”

Now, I don’t think I’m as unhealthy as some, but I know I struggle with working too much (I love what I do). Does the younger generation look at me as I looked at those before me? Probably. Yet, I learned some great things from those who came before me in the area of work ethic and working hard. Still, what can I learn from those who are coming after me? Finally, how can I help them learn a strong work ethic without teaching them to have no boundaries?

The Importance of Fun...

2011-08-22T21:54:00.001-05:00

Last week I was talking with one of the members of my team about why we play a game in our Sunday morning program. The general question was "Do we have to play a game? It just seems like that is not very spiritual and maybe our time could be better spent doing something else." I love the push, and I agree that every week it is not needed or even helpful. Yet, we talked about the fact that what we do is not for us, but rather for 11-14 year olds and fun is something of real value to them. We left our conversation with some things to chew on.

Fast forward a few days to this past Sunday morning. One of our female leaders was in the bathroom and there were several middle school girls in there talking (go figure, what else would they be doing in a bathroom). Two of the girls were attending our ministry for the first time and were asking the friend who brought them, "do you always play a game on Sunday morning?" When she answered "yes," the general response was something like "that is so cool, I think I could get used to coming to a church that allowed us to have fun at church."

Hmmmm..... So, how important is the element of fun in middle school ministry? I think it has a great deal to do with it. It may not the most important thing, but for middle school students who like to and need to wiggle and love to have fun, it's pretty important. We should make sure we understand our audience if we are going to be effective in our mission.

The Little Things Matter...

2011-08-22T08:44:00.000-05:00

Recently, Scott Rubin had a guest post on juniorhighministry.com entitled, "My Sunday School Teacher Loves Me." This is an easy thing to think about, but not an easy thing to really work out in your ministry. I've visited a lot of ministries (including my own) where the red carpet is not rolled out for new people. Where it is really difficult to be a visitor. Where we simply don't do a good job of "loving others." So, how are you doing? How's your ministry doing? I'm sure you say you're ministry is relational, but is it relational to only a few?

Hard Work...

2011-08-20T17:25:00.004-05:00

Our vocation is hard sometimes. I love what I do and I love doing it. I love getting up every day. I love going to work every day and I love almost every part of my work. Problem – there are times I love my work so much my life ends up out of balance and I spend too much time on my work.

I believe ministry is a vocation of “seasons.” There are seasons of engagement and seasons of withdrawal. For example, the fall is a season of engagement. We have a ton going on as we ramp up for the fall programming season. With retreats, weekly programs, and volunteer recruitment and training going on, we can work a great deal for these next six weeks. However, there are also seasons of withdrawal. For me, April and May are times that are a lot slower than other parts of my year. These months give time to think, time to plan, time to relax a bit from the fast pace of ministry life. Additionally, I think there are seasons of our lives that dictate our engagement in ministry. I’m 42 with three teenagers and a fifth grader. I spend very little time at football games, school plays, and other things that my kids are not involved with. Before I had a youth group in my own home, I spent a great deal of time at these events. I assume when my kids are out of the house (if I’m still alive and kicking) I’ll resume more of these contact, but right now, it’s not realistic for me.

So, what do you do to keep a healthy life while in a vocation like ministry? When you love what you do and the list of things to do never gets shorter, what do you do? Do you work harder, longer, and more often?

A Variety of Ages...

2011-08-11T08:39:00.000-05:00

My friend Ali Muller wrote this article for Immerse Journal on the importance of having older adults involved with your students. I love her wisdom here. This summer, we joined two local churches on a mission trip and one of the things that I found interesting as I looked across the landscape of the 25+ volunteers on the trip. In my group, there was only one adult under 30 and she is on staff with me. In the other two groups, there was only one adult over 30, and he was the youth pastor at one of the churches. Very interesting. What I realized was we all need some help in gaining a more broad scope of volunteers in our ministries. A wide variety provides so much.

The note is a powerful tool…

2011-08-10T09:04:00.000-05:00

Facebook, twitter, text messaging, and in some cases email, are great ways to communicate with the students we minister to, but there is still something significantly powerful about the handwritten note delivered via snail mail. Written on a postcard, these simple messages serve two major purposes. First, they encourage the student who receives them. Students love mail and love the personal touch of a handwritten note. Second, they encourage the parents of the students. Because it’s a postcard, they can sneak a peek at the contents of the card before their student gets their hands on it. Writing a note takes about two minutes. Mailing it costs about $.30. Take time to write a note to a student this week.

Middle School Campference

2011-08-07T16:57:00.000-05:00

Have you seen this yet? If not, what hole are you living in? This is going to be the best thing for middle school people in a long time. If you are working in the trenches with middle school/jhigh aged students, you need to be at the campference. We need veteran folks sharing their knowledge and we need younger, newer, fresher voices teaching, pushing, sharing, and challenging. Will you be a part of the action? Check it out.

Camp Cabin Time...

2011-07-29T22:48:00.000-05:00

Tonight we finish our week at summer camp. What a great week we've had. Our theme has been "The Way of The Cross" as we've been journeying through the passion week. Tonight, after spending twenty-four hours on the topic of loss with the crucifixion, we arrived at the resurrection and the topic of hope. After a great evening gathering, lead by our speaker, Johnny Scott, we moved into cabin time for further discussion. I joined a cabin of mostly sixth grade boys for this part of the evening and honestly, the conversation was going pretty well. Then, this question pops up at random...

"If a Christian commits suicide, does he go to heaven?"

I love junior high boys! They make me laugh with their awkwardly placed amazing questions.

Staring up (again)...

2011-07-29T08:03:00.000-05:00

I started this blog a few years ago when I was with a bunch of junior high pastor friends and it quickly became apparent that I was not ready to join the blogging world. Today is a new day, so I think I'll give it another try.

I've been doing middle school ministry for over twenty years and along the way one of the things I've discovered I like to do is talk about ministry with other people who are doing it. Early in my ministry an older youth worker took me under his wing and encouraged me when things were hard as well as cheered me on in the day to day. My hope is that this blog will do the same for a few out there who don't have face to face contact with other youth workers who can fill this role.

Left Behind (The Rapture Song)

2007-08-17T07:50:00.001-05:00

This is from our main service this past Sunday. We are in the middle of a series on Daniel, and this week was covering chapters 8-12 and Daniel's visions. Thought this was a funny way to intro the sermon.

YWTD...

2007-08-15T08:02:00.000-05:00

August 25th brings our annual YouthWorker Training Day here in KC. This is hosted and organized by YouthFront with the help of some local youthworkers. The idea is to provide a day of encouragement and training for local youth ministry volunteers. It's a great day to take your entire volunteer team to.

I am doing two seminars - the first is "Parents are your Partners." The objective is to help volunteers see the family as their ally in reaching young teens. How can we move beyond the teen as our "end goal" and start seeing the family as the place where lasting ministry moments can happen more frequently?

The second seminar I am doing in tandem with my associate Emily Wilson and another young woman in ministry Jenny Marvine. This seminar will be "Ministering to Middle School Boys & Girls." Our objective in this time is to help volunteers understand ways to better connect with students as they better understand who they are and where they are and why they are. Did that make any sense?

If you have any thoughts that might be good to share in either of these seminars, let me know.

Harder than it seems...

2007-08-15T08:00:00.001-05:00

Blogging is harder than it seems. It's difficult to find things to post. Well, at least, things I think someone else will care about. I get tired of going to blogs only to find them filled with Babel and blah. I guess that's just my opinion though. Most would probably say the same things about what I have and will post. Oh well.

Leading and Following

2007-05-15T05:51:00.000-05:00

i don't know who was leading and who was following in this situation, but it's safe to say there was a plot by a couple of kids to do something they saw as "fun" and nothing to stop or cause them to think it was not okay. was the 17 year old in charge and did he lead these 10 year old boys to this? that would be my guess. whatever the case, it breaks my heart and reminds me of how messed up our world is and how much in need of redemption we all are.

What are we coming to?

2007-05-14T21:38:00.000-05:00

Did you see this last week? What are we coming to? Fortunately, they were banned.

Bravo...

2007-05-14T21:36:00.000-05:00

Bravo to Skippy for this effort.

What will they think of next?

2007-04-30T07:47:00.000-05:00

Amazing what teens will think of to try and "get ahead" in the world today. The question for me is "what kind of pressure do I place on my own kids that might contribute to them feeling like they must do well all the time?" Read this article here.

Volunteer Training – Community vs. Equipping

2007-04-27T08:18:00.000-05:00

One of the things I wrestle with is how to fill our volunteer training times. Now, I’m not saying I don’t have anything to say – I always have plenty to say. Rather, I’m talking about content management. What should our times together look like. I’m wrestling with the fact that so many of the volunteer teams I have seen in the past three months and so many of the volunteers I have talked with seem ill equipped to do what we ask them to do. Let’s be honest here. We desire a relational ministry because it’s through relationships that significant ministry can take place. So, we ask our volunteers to hang out with students in and out of our program times. We desire the students in our ministry to learn, to be discipled, to grow in their faith, and some of that happens in our large groups, but we really rely more on our small groups to accomplish this. Yet, how well trained are our volunteers to lead these kinds of small groups? Is it happening? I would say that in many cases, the answer is “no, it’s not.”

Listening to volunteers has taught me they feel ill equipped to do what we ask of them. The feel like they are failing with their small group. They are stretched thin and need some help and leadership. So, when they come to our training time, what do we give them? The tools they need to successfully lead a small group, or food for their own soul, or both? Question: What would it look like if we stopped giving our volunteers another tool for their ministry toolbox, stopped giving them answers to problem a, b, and c? Instead, what would happen if we met their needs, discipled them, helped them grow closer to Christ? Would they naturally be better at doing this with students if someone did it with them? Maybe!

What role does the rest of the church play in this process though? If the volunteers in your ministry are involved in an adult small group of their own (a healthy thing to be involved with people older than 12) and they found the encouragement they needed and the soul food they needed within that context? Would you need to fill this role? Maybe we need to spend our time trying helping them learn to translate what we have gleaned as adults to the lives of the young teens they work with. Would this accomplish the goal of helping volunteers be better at discipleing students?

Now, the bottom line is there are some volunteers who do this very well (either as a result or in spite of what we have done with them). There are others, however, who may not ever be good at it no matter what we do. There are still others who, with a little push, could become great. The question is what does that push look like? We want to move our volunteers to become better at reaching our overall goal of making disciples, but we don’t want to be trying to move them to an unattainable place.

What I'm Learning

2007-04-26T10:39:00.000-05:00

Things I have been learning on my sabbatical – simple statements that I’ll seek to elaborate on later.

Training our volunteers is highly valued, but not well done
Volunteer leaders need to be super-human to do what we ask of them (this makes those who actually do what we ask amazing)
Ministry assessment is not happening very well – how well do you confront the brutal facts of how your ministry is doing?
Discipleship is not happening as well as we might think it is
Our small groups are not really accomplishing as much as we thought they would
Junior high students are very capable of diving into the spiritual disciplines (the old and “new” ones) as long as they are lead well
There are not a lot of good resources out there for junior high students. There are plenty of not so good things, but not many that are really worth much. If a student is looking for a devotional booklet or some help with a problem, don’t hold your breath for the answers to come with a simple resource

Book Review

2007-04-25T08:46:00.000-05:00

Just finished Walt Mueller’s book “Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture: Bridging Teen Worldviews And Christian Truth” It was about what I expected having sat in on a few of his seminars though the years and regularly read his newsletters, blogs, and publications. I highly respect Walt for his approach to engaging culture. I know some would disagree with, what I would consider to be, his conservative approach to life, but I find it refreshing. I resonate with someone who can have a more conservative theology and outlook on life, and yet still has the ability to engage culture, seeing it as God sees it. As Christians we can not run and hide from culture, nor can we simply immerse ourselves blindly. We must engage it, learn from it, and work to redeem it. My biggest tension in this area how to keep up. Culture changes so fast and Walt would seem to advocate digging in to that culture for the sake of reaching those lost within it. Yet, as I look at the kids in the schools we minister to, their tastes in music and such are all over the map. It’s would be a full time job trying to understand every kid’s music. Even trying to map out the subgroups within the school is hard, there is so much diversity. It’s funny to say that when we work with middle school students who pack together, but what they like changes so fast, sometimes your head can spin. I also am not always convinced that young teens are listening to music for it’s message. Some are, but because they are so pack oriented and long for acceptance so much, I think they change what they listen to often because of who they are trying to be like or accepted by this week. They don’t listen because they connect with the lyrics, they listen because someone they want to be like likes the music. Did that make any sense? Anyway, this is a good book to read, especially as a suggestion for parents or volunteers on your team who could use a shot in the arm for understanding more of the culture their kids swim in.

Who Says Middle School Students Aren't Great?

2007-04-24T08:34:00.000-05:00

Check out this 11 year old girl who saved her mother, brother, and herself from serious injury by stopping her mom's van when she was sick. Read it here.

Taco Bell Reflections

2007-04-23T13:55:00.001-05:00

Last week I found myself sitting in Taco Bell with Steve Friesen (a self-proclaimed taco bell junkie). As I waited for Steve to arrive, I was listening to two cable guys talk about their jobs. They are talking about how they don’t like to work in the “rich” neighborhoods because the home owners treat them like crap. They are wondering why when they try to be so nice and go the extra mile to resolve a problem, do people treat them like dirt and call in to complain. I’m reminded to be a person of compassion. How do I view the people in life who work minimum wage jobs? Do I look down on them? Do I feel like I am entitled to something because I make more money than they do? Are they not created in God’s image just as I am? Are they not “the least of these” that Jesus talked about? How are you doing? I can do better.

Size Doesn't Matter

2007-04-18T08:15:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, I had time to ask all my sabbatical project questions to Scott Reuben of Willow Creek. Now, I have known Scott for a few years and he has always impressed me as someone who thinks and really seeks to excel in ministry. My conversation with him this past weekend confirmed these feelings even more. One of the things I really like about Scott is his genuine humble attitude. This manifested itself this weekend in a few simple ways. First, he was willing to take time with me (okay, we have a low level ministry related friendship, but still, he has a monster of a ministry to run and probably gets a ton of requests for his time). Second, he gave me a sneak peek into some of the inner workings of the junior high ministry at Willow and he did not need to do so.

I think, for me, the thing I was most reassured with in my time with Scott and his team this weekend was size does not make things easier, it just takes the problems we all face and compounds them (in fact my group is about 15% of Willow’s and I would say that we have the same difficulties, but I deal with about 15% of the breath of those problems in comparison to Willow). Let me do what I can to challenge those of you who dream of huge ministries to stop dreaming J If God desires to entrust you with so many students, great, but don’t wish for it. The problems you face now will not run away when you have ten times the kids, ten times the staff, and ten times the budget. You’ll just get ten times the problems and you’ll still be pulling your hair out trying to be a good steward of what God has called you to do. I am glad to be serving where I am!

BTW - MarkO posted on the numbers game a few days ago, read his comments here.

Have you Ever?

2007-04-17T09:00:00.000-05:00

Thought about what a sixth grader coming into your ministry can and can’t do? I’m not sure I have given this a ton of thought. This weekend was an eye-opener for me in a few small ways. You see, as I traveled with my soon-to-be-sixth-grader-in-my-ministry son, I noticed he was not ready to do a few things I routinely ask new sixth graders to do - assuming they can do them. The most interesting of these little realizations was the fact that he has never ordered his own meal at a restaurant. Now, I know that is a sad reflection on him and even a more pathetic reflection on me, his father, but it’s true. When we go out to eat, and it does not matter if it’s a fancy place or McDonald’s, it’s always been easier for me to order for all the kids (I have four of them). It’s a pragmatic thing – we talk about what they want and I communicate it to the waiter or waitress. However, now I am just realizing that my son does not even really know how to do this. So, this weekend I made him order everything. It was quite an experience. At times, he did fine and at other times, he had some trouble. One thing was consistent – he was nervous. Can you believe that? He was nervous about ordering a chicken sandwich at McDonald’s. Now, extrapolate that to a bunch of your sixth graders and that “deer in the headlights” look when your standing at the counter on that first trip with them makes a whole lot more sense. I’m sure you are better than I in this area, but I plan to pay more attention and be much more sensitive to these sixth graders from here on out.

A Very Special Weekend

2007-04-16T12:22:00.000-05:00

I have been promoting parents talking to their kids about adolescence for a long time now, but this weekend, the talking hit home for me. My 11-year-old son, Ethan, and I embarked on a trip to Chicago together. The purpose of the trip was two fold. First, I had a few meetings with junior high pastors for my sabbatical project, but second, we were going to have a “man” weekend.

Our weekend started with Ethan getting out of half of Thursday and all of Friday from school (he did not complain). We hit the road to Chicago and began to listen to Dr. Dobson’s “Preparing for Adolescence” CD series. I will say that I don’t think there is a lot of good material out there to help parents navigate this important transitional time and although Dobson’s stuff is horribly dated (he recorded it in the late 70’s) it is still, I think, some of the best stuff out there. To clarify, what I like is that he does not just cover sex and the physical changes that will occur in the years to come (and I must say, I think he covers this subject very well), but he also talks about inferiority, conformity, love, and friends. The dated side of the material shows up in his examples and statistics. I would love to see him update these (or have one of his staff do so).

Friday put us at the Cubs game. Ethan has always been a Cubs fan (influence of his grandfather), but he had never been to Wrigley. So, naturally, we needed to get this done while we were there. It was a great day (except they fell apart in the 5th and lost by one run). We got to the stadium at 11:00 for b.p. and Ethan was initially not excited about standing around for two hours prior to game time. However, after 90 minutes he got a ball and that made everything worthwhile. An added bonus and totally a coincidence, Ethan’s grandpa and uncle were at the game and we were able to sit with them and enjoy our special day together.

Resources

2007-04-08T21:01:00.000-05:00

One thing that I don’t think we have enough of is good resources for junior high girls. This is a broad category because I’m talking resources for parents of teen girls, resources for youth workers about teen girls, and definitely, resources to give junior high girls weather they be devotionals that are good or just books that they can read and interact with that will help them through this turbulent time. I just finished Heather Flies’ entry into the “I Want to Talk With My Teen About…” series put out by Standard Publishing where she talks about "girl stuff". Heather is a very thoughtful and insightful female junior high youth worker. I love her stuff and have had her in for a weekend to talk to my staff about middle school girls. Her book (well, more of a booklet) is a great resource that I will pass on to my staff and parents, but what else is there? Give me your best suggestions.

(NOTE: I am currently reading “Teenage Girls” by Ginny Olsen and look forward to being able to add this to my very short list of good girl resources. I'll post on it when I'm done.)

Teenage Boys

2007-04-07T10:34:00.000-05:00

I finished “Teenage Guys” by Steve Gerali yesterday. This is a great book worthy of recommending to your parents and staff. There are some parts that I would not totally agree with, or indorse, but, it is non-the-less a great resource for those who work with teenage boys. I hope “Teenage Girls” is equally as good.

Rained Out

2007-04-06T20:09:00.000-05:00

Well, my lifelong dream was rained out (at least for now). My wife and I had a great few days in New York, but the highlight of the trip was to go to a Yankee game at Yankee Stadium. I have seen the Yankees play many times (in fact, they are in KC for 7 games this season), but I have never been to Yankee Stadium. My hope was to get into the stadium and absorb some of the history etc... The game was less important than the stadium - well, it was not meant to be. The rain came hard and all day and they never even opened the doors :( Bummer! My tickets are good for a year, so maybe I'll get back out there sometime.

Impacting your Neighborhood

2007-04-04T08:04:00.000-05:00

This artilce appeared in a recent issue of "World" magazine. It's really prompts us to think about our neighborhoods in a new way. Do we really think whoistically in our approach to ministry? What do you think?

Man about town
INTERVIEW: Urban planner Christopher Leerssen sees caring about the built environment as one way Christians love their neighbors | Mindy Belz

"As a Christian architect I try to reflect the order and the creativity of our ultimate creator—to somehow point to hope and faith and many times humility through our edifices," is a straightforward statement of purpose from prize-winning architect Christopher Leerssen. The Georgia Tech graduate specializes in architecture both vertical and horizontal, serving as an urban planner in Atlanta with expertise in designing infill and urban mixed-use developments around the Southeast. Planning communities, he says, should include a biblical expression not only of beauty but also justice and mercy, where justice can be a sidewalk and mercy a bench for the homeless.

WORLD: What makes for a great community?

LEERSSEN: Some folks would say that community is only people, and I would agree partially, but I would also forward that the form or shape of the place will influence and affect how great that community can be. Truly beautiful, lovable places have both a visual loveliness and an experiential charge to them.

I would say what makes for a great community is a respect for the human. It comes from an understanding, written or unwritten, that we are image bearers of a Divine Creator. From that knowledge stems great people places: places of worship, discourse, learning, and market. My view of greatness entails well-roundedness. While rare, a free democracy is paramount; greatness cannot come on the backs of others.

WORLD: How do you translate those abstract ideas into concrete reality?

LEERSSEN: I am certain that participating in public life is a must for believers, and if there isn't that sidewalk or park or space where people rub shoulders, either start one or move to some place that has a real community. Also, when the time comes for a vote on community plans and zoning, don't be afraid of people different from you (smaller houses) or of density (apartments). A compact urban form is necessary for an ecologically sustainable future and fiscally, a dense city is easier to service, police, and beautify.

WORLD: How does the design of traffic flow patterns and streetscapes advance the kingdom of God?

LEERSSEN: Traffic can either give or take away time to be with other people—family, strangers or otherwise. And streetscapes and their sidewalks are the bedrock to good public space—they are the glue that holds diverse neighborhoods together.

WORLD: Are big-box stores and mega-malls then unbiblical?

LEERSSEN: No, not really. They certainly serve a purpose in commerce; however, their deleterious impacts on community, traffic, other businesses, and the environment should not be overlooked. As with any business you should ask if the manner in which they deliver the product is ethical and in line with what you believe. We all can display a slick form of greed when we price shop to an extreme. Price warring has resulted in shopping centers that look like they dropped from outer space—they are entirely auto-oriented and far from a beautiful or uplifting human environment.

WORLD: You have said, "A powerful tool for the spread of the gospel is lost when our public realm is dismantled." What do you mean by dismantling and what can be done to reverse it?

LEERSSEN: Dismantling the public realm starts with building inward-looking, privately focused developments, be they single-family homes with garages at the street or gated apartments, all linked by roads that have no sidewalks. Or take the schools that are only accessed via automobile, fenced in and off limits, having no real connection to their surrounds and engendering no other public activities at any time of the day.

Where do religions have their greatest impact? Dispersed through the countryside or in the network hubs where new ideas and change are a given? Where did the early apostles go—to the outskirts or to the center? Reversing our inward-focused mindset entails loving to be with other people at the park, on the way to work, at the school. Loving to know your neighbors and to have the opportunity to serve them is paramount to spreading the gospel.

WORLD: Is there a specific role for churches in this process? Do churches resist civic engagement as "not direct ministry"?

LEERSSEN: Certainly, churches and their buildings should be less clubby, private affairs and more of that common ground for "the Church" proper to interact with the outside world and skeptics. Churches could open wide their doors by hosting art shows, financial seminars, offering mercy, and musical performances—invite the public in and create that haven for public discourse.

Churches are also buildings. Congregations must have a very good understanding architecturally how their master plan contributes to the fabric of the community. The church could regain some of her stature and prominence in our communities if congregations would locate and design their site in such a way to be less insulated and boring.

Many churches these days, when expanding their facilities, look for the 10-20 acre site on cheap land with good access (Sound like a familiar story? Think big retail). This ensures the church is only accessible by automobile and probably nowhere near any preexisting human activity in the community—it's no wonder we've lost some of our connection with the world.

The better scenario is to look for the spot near some nexus of human energy and build a church which fits into that context. The really exciting hybrid of that positive scenario is when churches also play developer (likely through a partnership of sorts) and add housing or major mercy facilities into their master plan.

WORLD: Since Atlanta is your hometown—and to many a maze of overbuilt freeways and endless shopping meccas—how do you interact with locals to improve your own public realm?

LEERSSEN: Hotlanta—the city too busy to hate. Its energy and youthfulness are intoxicating, but from a planning and architectural standpoint we've grown inebriated with our success and grown too fast. It really is a fantastic laboratory to test out various patterns of building a city: solid intown neighborhoods with transit, walkability, historic properties, and decent retail; first-ring suburbs that are for the most part imploding due to an exodus of fleeing families and downward real-estate values; second-ring suburbs that seem to do OK but are stiflingly boring; and the exurbs, which is a horse farm next to gated cul-de-sac that could go on quite literally till Tennessee. Frankly, due to our abuses of the land, we are returning back to time-honored principles of city building.

We all have to help locally, and for me that means serving on the board of my neighborhood and chairing our zoning committee. There very local decisions about density and design and streetscapes are made as we negotiate with developers and landowners. I attend planning workshops and interact with the process, and many times end up angling for the rights of the poor, the elderly and car-less.

My family also sits on our porch a good bit; we take walks and are available for neighbors. We make use of our parks and sidewalks and trails so that we can enliven and reinforce the idea of being with other humans. We walk to dinner, to shopping, and to transit, saying hello usually to more than one neighbor. Once the coffee shop opens up, we'll be there, too. We don't watch a lot of TV—we'd prefer to interact with ruddy faces, not glowing ones.

WORLD: What can fellow Christians do to improve the growth of their communities in meaningful and practical ways?

LEERSSEN: Be more mindful of the physical spaces around you—begin to ask yourself some questions about the places in which you dwell. Are your daily places those where you have the opportunity to interact with other image bearers? What does your commute do for you? Are you active in your neighborhood—allowing you to more fully know and love your neighbors? Is your church active in its (maybe the same) neighborhood? Community is both physical and nonphysical, but God gives us the capacity to dwell in and improve both.

New York Here I Come

2007-04-02T15:42:00.000-05:00

I head to New York with my wife tomorrow morning for a three day get away. The highlight of the trip is heading to see my beloved Yankees play on Wednesday. I have like the Yankees since I was a kid and have never been to Yankee Stadium. I told our executive pastor this (another Yankee fan) and he got me tickets to a game in New York for a sabbatical gift from our church staff (another reason why my church rocks). Although the weather looks to be mid 50's and raining, we are really excited (you need to understand that my wife is a bigger baseball fan than I am, so she's really looking forward to the trip as well).

Way too Cool

2007-03-29T09:18:00.000-05:00

Have you seen this article from the NYT? Brittany Bergquist, 16, and her brother, Robbie, 15, started "Cell Phones for Soldiers" three years ago (when they were middle school students) and since have raised more than $1 million for phone cards for soldiers. WOW! I love stories like this. Students who do make a global difference in a big way.

Volunteer Staff Team

2007-03-29T09:16:00.000-05:00

One of the things I have always known, but often times have neglected anyway has been investment into our volunteer staff team. Now, I’m not saying we’re miserable or anything, in fact, I think the team we have in place right now is the best team we have ever had. I would say that more of our volunteer staff understand genuine ministry and love students more holistically now than at any other time in my ministry life. That being said, if ministry really does center around relationships with adults who love Jesus and love students, than, it’s extremely important for those adults to be equipped and trained to use those relationships to help students live in the Kingdom of God.

I must ask myself and evaluate myself and my own leadership in this area of training staff. I would contend that I have a long way to go in developing people who are powerfully impacting teens. I would say that those on our current team who do this well are natural at it and would do well with or with out me. What will I change when I get back to the helm of our middle school ministry that will allow be to better lead, train, and equip our volunteer staff team?

So, how are you equipping your team? What has been the best thing you’ve done or taught in the last year? What has been a valuable resource for you in this area?

A New Kind of Youth Ministry

2007-03-29T09:13:00.000-05:00

I don’t know about you, but I always have more books on my list to read than I actually can get read. Even now, when I am on sabbatical, I’m finding it hard to get as much reading done as I would have liked (although I’m not complaining, I’m doing a lot of reading). So, you may understand why it has taken me until now to read Chris Folmsbee’s “new” book “A New Kind of Youth Ministry.” WOW! This is a great book. I liked it because it was fresh and easy to read (I read it in one afternoon). Yet, I also liked it because, even though it was easy to read, it will be a source for chewing on for quite some time.

Interesting, one of the things I am really enjoying on my sabbatical is the opportunity I have to visit other ministries in our area. It’s great to see my friends in action and experience their context. Yet, with Chris’ book as a backdrop, I would say that every church I have visited (mine included) has a long way to go if we are to really be “new kinds of youth ministries.” There are a number of things many are doing well and a number of things that I would suggest we need to rethink.

Fun Game

2007-03-28T10:35:00.000-05:00

My six year old is adicted to this game (he's gotten the daily high score on the site a few times). It's pretty fun.

What's our Responsibility?

2007-03-28T09:58:00.000-05:00

As youth workers, we may be more in tune with things like this (an NYT article about a Texas Teenager who died and came back to life after playing a choking game), than the parents of the teens we serve. So, if we are more aware of some of the things that go on in youth culture, what is our responsibility in getting the word out. On the one hand, we don't want to be alarmists and cause unneeded worry. On the other hand, we don't want to neglect the fact that teens in our ministries do stupid stuff all the time. What do you think?

Want to help?

2007-03-26T16:02:00.000-05:00

If you have been reading my blog at all, you know that I am in the middle of a 12 week sabbatical (this is awesome and I feel incredibly blessed to have a church which grants this Sabbath rest). One of the things I have been wanting to do for some time is to think about the future of young teen ministry. Part of my sabbatical, as I proposed it, is to be spent thinking about this in the context of my church and ministry. For this reason, I have put together a set of questions that I have been wrestling with.

This is where you can help if you want. I am in the process of setting up one hour phone interviews to talk through these questions. If you would be willing to give me an hour of your time, I would love to ask for your thoughts on my thoughts. The only requirement is that you are in full-time junior high ministry. You can be in a church or para-church or some other ministry. As long as you work with young teens, I’d love to talk with you.

If you would like to see the basic questions prior to talking with me or deciding if you want to talk with me, you can find them here. I will not get through all these questions with everyone, but you’ll get an idea of what I’m looking to ask.

If you would like to participate, please leave me a comment and give me your email address. We’ll go from there.

2007-03-15T14:12:00.000-05:00

I have finally finished my struggle through a very THICK book. Not thick in terms of pages (although it was not thin there either), but THICK in terms of content. WOW! What a ride. I’m sure I’ll be digesting this one for a while. The book is “Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from its Cultural Captivity” by Nancy Pearcey. This was not an easy read for me, but well worth it. Let me try to explain why without boring you.

In our church, we have come to adopt a four chapter view of the Gospel story. This is not our idea and not a new idea, but it makes a ton of sense to me. The story the way we understand it starts not with the two story idea of sin and salvation, but with Creation. We and the world are created by God and the way God created us was good. The way things were created was the way it “OUGHT” to be. We came into the world, however, and took God’s plan into our own hands and did our own thing. Thus, sin enters the world and screws things up. This is the way it “IS” but not the way it “OUGHT” to be. The solution is redemption - God’s plan for resorting not only man, but the world to Himself. When we look at this plan, we see the way the world “CAN” be if we follow God’s plan. Finally, we look down the road to a new creation. A time when God’s plan will again come to perfection and the world “WILL” be the way it was created to be once again. As creations of God, we are called to live within His plan, to help fulfill His plan, to help restore the world and all that is in it (including people). Nancy Pearsey uses a three chapter version of this message (she combines chapters three and four) and explains why it is so compelling and why it is so helpful in her book.

A bottom line is summarizing this book might be to say it helps one form a more complete Christian worldview. I know that this may not sound fun and to some, it may even sound ugly (the notion of worldview is often misrepresented and therefore discarded). Yet, I believe Mrs. Pearcey is right on track in saying that everyone has a worldview and we must not only understand our view, but know more about how that worldview answers some of life’s most important questions. As Christians, and as youth leaders, we have done a good job of helping people know “the facts” but we don’t always help people connect the dots. Let me explain a bit more…

A helpful insight that Mrs. Pearcey brings out is the bifurcation of the mind. Our world (and Pearcey traces the roots as to how we got to where we are today) separates life into to realms, fact and value. Facts are the things that deal in science and empirical evidence. These are the things that can be “known.” Values are connected with religion and are held as subjective. Our culture has made the realm of “fact” to be what we talk about in the public square and the realm of “value” to be confined to the private life of an individual and the two have no connection, no relevance to one another. Therefore your private value system has no business in determining the public policy for this or that. You can see examples of this everywhere, from President Clinton’s scandal, to the “battle cry” discussion on marko’s blog. Of course the problems raised by ron luce and his ministry are a problem for the city of san fran. But the city is not going to listen to what ron has to say because he is dealing in value and they have no traction in the public square where fact rules the day. As ministries we must reculture and re-architect our language and the arguments we have in order to be heard in the public square and ultimately make a difference in redeeming our world.

How is this relevant to junior high ministry? Good question. I need to process this a lot in order to be equipped to answer that fully. However, if we are not helping students see the dichotomous life they are living when they place their faith in that “value” realm and pull it out only on Sunday, then we set them up for a miserable failure in post high school life when they are picked apart by people who can pick apart some of the “holes” in their faith system. If we don’t show students how to connect their faith with every part of their life and how it answers all of life’s hardest questions what good are we doing? If all we’re doing is transferring information, we may create good Bible quizzers or “good Christian kids” but will we see life transformation? Will we see students fall in love with Jesus? Will we see students really know whom we are asking them to love? Will we help students see that life with Jesus is about living in His Kingdom now, not gaining access to heaven later?

abduction

2007-03-15T13:38:00.000-05:00

I just finished a novel called “abduction” by Robin Cook. It was entertaining, but had some of the interesting view of a “brave new world.” A world is “discovered” beneath the ocean floor and five members of a drilling crew are abducted into it. The story is easy to read and follow. What was more interesting was the type of society that lived in this new world. This world (atlantis is described as a part of this world) has no violence and no death. People’s “essence” is extracted from their bodies and placed into a new body when one is ready. The new bodies are grown in a hatching center. I loved the author’s thoughts on some of the world’s myths, like Atlantis, and the ending was a good twist. However, I felt like it ended without much closure.

What a Weekend...

2007-03-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

This was a crazy weekend. My parents were in town for a visit (a lot of fun, but the usual stress on my wife having the in-laws stay the weekend – nothing bad, just the normal stress – perceived or real). We had some fun plans for Friday night and then my older daughter got sick, so we modified the plans a bit. However, on top of that, my friend Sean Meade was in town for ENCORE, an event by Stuck In The Middle, Sean’s ministry. Anyway, I was on the docket to do a seminar for volunteers on Saturday afternoon (not hard – he asked me to do the same gig on small groups I did for YS in the fall). So far, nothing too out of the ordinary. Enter the weird phone call on Friday morning. Sean calls me at 9:00 am and says, “dude, Jason (main stage speaker for Friday night) had outpatient surgery yesterday and can’t come for the weekend, can you speak at TONIGHT’s general session?” Holy Cow! Now, it’s important to note that after speaking to junior high students for sixteen years, this is not real hard, but 650 kids who are paying to be at a conference and are expecting someone really good and really funny adds a bit more stress to the deal. Well, after about 90 minutes of preparation (remember my parents are here and we had a bunch of plans for the day already), I got up and did the opening session for Sean. You’ll have to ask them how it went – I thought it was pretty good – but I’m a bit bias.

On a sad note, but another factor in our weekend, a great lady in our church (and also our small group) passed away Wednesday after a ten-year bought with cancer. The services were this weekend adding yet one more item to the plate (again, not lamenting the services, but rather the irony of “when it rains, it pours”).

Last night as my wife and I were lying in bed (for the hour I was there before my six year old got up and I had to move to the living room floor with him up half the night), we were commenting on how full we feel like our schedule is on my sabbatical. I guess, for some dumb reason, we thought our lives would slow down for these weeks. What were we thinking – we have four kids who are involved in stuff.

Interesting Article...

2007-03-12T08:29:00.000-05:00

Saw this article this morning on teenage moodiness. It was an interesting read.

The Dead Sea Scrolls

2007-03-07T20:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I had the chance to spend the morning with our church staff downtown at an exhibit of the Dead Sea Scrolls. It was in some ways less than what I expected, but in most ways, it was truly awe inspiring. There are over 100,000 fragments of scrolls that were found in the caves of Qumran. Yet, most of them are small pieces and therefore are not impressive in size. However, when you think about the fact that you are seeing a fragment from the Bible that was written over 2.000 years ago, that's really impressive.

One other thing that was way different than I expected was how small the writing on the scroll was. I guess I assumed that because everything was copied by hand, the writting would be a "normal" written size (maybe around a 12 to 14 pt font). Yet, the scrolls had what I would classify as more of a 9 point font with all the intricacy of Hebrew and Aramaic lettering. WOW!

KC Brigade

2007-03-07T20:25:00.000-06:00

Sunday my two sons and I hit Kemper Arena here in KC for the home opener of the arena football league Kansas City Brigade. Last year, the Brigade was 3-13 and very pathetic. This year, with a less than impressive "grand enterence" the Brigade came out and kicked some Chicago butt. It was a ton of fun.

Family Ministry

2007-03-05T14:51:00.000-06:00

This has become more and more of a buzz word in youth ministry circles, but what does it really mean? It has been something my heart has been beating for, but I’m not really sure how to “take it to the next level.” Currently, in our ministry, we seek to help, equip, and encourage the family by…

providing weekly resources for communication between parents and teens
providing weekly communication to families through our website and broadcast emails
providing periodic parent forums for training and development of parenting and communication skills
providing a few fun moments where parents and teens can connect in a friendly environment

What I would like to see happen is to bolster these efforts. I’d really like to see students and parents talking more. Some of the reasons I think many do not communicate would include…

parents may not really know how or where to start
parents may actually be scared of communication
students view it as boring and irrelevant
students feel threatened because every time a parent tries to communicate it turns into a “grip” session where they are in trouble

So, as a ministry leader, one of my burdens is to see communication strengthened. Is this realistic? Is it possible? What is the role of the church in this process? How do we go about really helping instead of playing lip service to the entire idea? If you have thoughts, I’d love to hear them. If you know someone who is doing this well (or some part of family ministry well), I’d love to get their name so I could talk with them personally.

Damnation Street

2007-03-01T10:14:00.000-06:00

Last night I finished a new mystery novel called “Damnation Street” by Andrew Klavan. I have not read any of his other books, but he has won a few Edger awards for his mystery writing, so I thought I’d read this newest effort. It was engaging, but I’m not much of a literary critic, so I don’t know if it was well written. I did enjoy the twists and the unique writing style. It was a bit more “edgy” than I expected. Pretty racy and crude, but still a very engaging story.

What I liked the most about this novel is Andrew is a Christian and the book was not a Christian book. It seems that, as an artist, he has been able to engage the world and live the Christian life without swimming in the mire that often is bad Christian literature. Here’s an excerpt from an article in World Magazine about Mr. Klavan.

“Andrew Klavan is an unusual combination: He writes detective novels filled with depictions of human depravity, and he's now a Christian. It shouldn't be an unusual combination, because an understanding of man's sinfulness, along with a glimpse of God's holiness, often makes us realize our desperate need for Christ. And yet Christian fiction has a reputation for being too nice to take on vice.”

I’d recommend the read just for the fact of finding good work done by a Christian that is not so “Christian.”

Blog Suggestions

2007-02-28T09:40:00.001-06:00

Being new to the blogging world and very new to the “almost every day” blogging world, I have desired to read good blogs. Now, I must say that I’m not a big fan of reading someone’s journal of all their personal stuff (unless I know them), so, I guess, I’m looking for thought provoking blogs that are more substance than fluff. If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them.

Solitude and Silent - AHHH!

2007-02-28T09:11:00.000-06:00

I just finished “The Great Omission” by Dallas Willard. I really enjoyed it. Dr. Willard says the same thing a bunch of times, but dummies like me need that repetition to have something sink in. One of the phrases he uses throughout the book is “grace is opposed to earning, not effort.” His premise is that we often fail to work at our life with Christ, supposing that it just magically appears and becomes vibrant when we become Christians. He spends a great deal of time talking about spiritual disciplines and the need to practice them in our quest to be more of whom Christ wants us to be. For me, particularly, his emphasis on solitude and silence was chilling. This is not something I do well, not is it something I have practiced often. It is, however, a major goal of my sabbatical. If you have suggestions for taking silent retreats, I’d be open to hear your thoughts.

Amazing Christian Junk...

2007-02-28T09:00:00.000-06:00

Take a look at the Jesus action figures (note they come in light or dark skin). Enjoy the scenic background you get with it and the hours of fun you can have. I love the button you push to order. Note is says "order Jesus." What kind of a society are we in that we can "order" Jesus? Don't forget to check out the entire line of Biblical action figures.

Post it note Jesus...

2007-02-26T12:52:00.000-06:00

Fix your eyes on this Jesus made out of Post it Notes. What will we think of next?

Jesus vs terminator

2007-02-25T14:29:00.001-06:00

You might want to move away from your computer in case you get struck by lightning for watching this, but it is very funny.

Home Sweet Home...

2007-02-25T13:10:00.000-06:00

Today I visited the Olathe Campus of our church. This multi-site location of the church I serve is a unique blend of the components of our church that are what makes it Christ Community with a small, quaint atmosphere. I enjoyed the musical leadership of the campus corporate worship pastor and the genuine young leadership of the pastor of congregational development. The sermon is done via video on a one week delay from the Leawood campus and with a 16x9 screen with two HD projectors; I actually enjoyed watching the sermon on the screen more than I like it live in Leawood. After a few weeks away, it was good to worship at “home.”

What a day...

2007-02-25T06:37:00.000-06:00

It has been a long time since I have had such a great day with my family. I was a great day not because of something huge we did (Disney World will top that list for a while), but because of time spent together. I am kind of a task master around the house on Saturday’s. I make the kids pick up and we need to clean the house. Today, however, things went more smoothly than they many times do and we were finished by 10:00 am (we get up early). This left the entire day for other things to take place. Each member of the family as doing something they love to do while we all relaxed a bit. After a while, my 8 year old came along and announced it was her teddy’s birthday, so I encouraged her to decorate her room and throw a party. We even made brownies for birthday snacks. After lunch, we sat down and played “Star Wars Risk.” Jay (my six year old) and I were the bad guys and we conquered the galaxy. It was just a fun day and one that we need to repeat more often.

Little Blessings

2007-02-22T12:57:00.001-06:00

Ever have one of those times in your life when it seems like money is flying out the window faster than it’s coming in? We are in one of those brief moments. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining here. We decided to replace many of the windows in our home and the workers were finishing up today, so I needed to pay that bill. This is something we wanted and chose to do, so it’s not that it was surprise, but rather a large check. The bummer was that yesterday I started our van and heard a “clank” and then the van died. I restarted it and it ran real rough. I hate that sinking feeling in your gut when this happens because it usually means the cash register at my local car fix-it shop goes cha-ching. Today, I took the van in and after three hours they called me back. Guess how much I had to shell out for this one? Nothing! Man, this was a great boost. A vacuum hose has slipped off and because they had done some work on it not too long ago, they did not charge me anything. God is good even when you feel like all those little money grabbers keep popping up at every turn.

Sabbath Rest and the Family

2007-02-21T10:22:00.000-06:00

I am finishing up Brennan Manning’s Abba's Child as one of the first books I am reading on my sabbatical. There are so many rich things in this book I could share with you (and maybe I will in the future), but for now, let me focus on Sabbath. Because I am on sabbatical (an extended Sabbath rest), I am maybe more in tune with this concept and am more aware of the fact that I, and I assume most of us, have butchered the observance of rest in our lives.

So, let me challenge you first with the concept of Sabbath and how you are doing at getting the rest you need. Are you working non-stop? Are you going 110% all the time? How is your life at home? Do you give your all to your ministry and fail to have anything left to give to those in your life who matter most? Think about this and be willing to make a change and confront the brutal facts if needed.

Second, in Manning’s book, he makes this statement about the Jewish observation of Sabbath: “…it started at sundown Friday with the mother of the family ceremonially lighting the candles. Then the father, after saying grace over a cup of wine, laid his hand on the head of each of his children and solemnly blessed them with a personal prayer. These and many similar paraliturgical gestures not only hallowed the Sabbath but also sanctified the Jewish home making it a mikdash me-at, a miniature sanctuary in which the parents were the priests and the family table was the alter.” WOW! Why don’t we do this in our families? This is great!

One of the things I will be thinking about a lot while I am on this sabbatical is family and how our ministry can more effectively come alongside families and help them be the “pastors” and “miniature sanctuaries” they were meant to be.

Introduction To Christ by Steve Harvey

2007-02-20T10:00:00.001-06:00

This is a bit funky, but also worth watching. What would you do if you had to introduce Jesus for a speaking engagement?

when she does the handstand, RUN!!

2007-02-20T09:59:00.001-06:00

Saw this video the other day. It's pretty amazing to an old guy who can barely touch his toes.

Amazing Grace

2007-02-19T14:49:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was “Amazing Grace Sunday.” I hope your church participated in this great day. Amazing Grace is a movie hitting theaters on February 23^rd and is a powerful look at William Wilberforce, the man who was responsible for abolishing slavery in England in 1807. Now, in our church, “Hero for Humanity” by Kevin Belmonte, a biography of Wilberforce, is required reading in what is our primary pathway for Spiritual formation. His dedication to social change in the public square and commitment to living his faith and his calling are worth studying and admiring. The movie, I was able to see it a few weeks ago, is very well done and worth not only seeing yourself, but taking some of your students to see as well.

Because I work with middle school students, I would suggest that, if you’re taking young teens, they would definitely need some guidance through the movie. I say this because it’s not an action-adventure, a sci-fi triller, or a horror film. It’s a bit slow at times and a bit hard to follow at times if you do not know much about Wilberforce. However, the significance of his life and his role in world history as a man and a Christ follower demands attention. Students need to know who Wilberforce was and how they could stand to see this example of how one can use whatever talent and gift God has given in whatever vocation one ends up choosing in life. There is not such thing as “sacred” callings. We are all called to live a Christ-like life no matter what our vocation. We are all called to be apart of God’s redemption plan for the world we live in.

I hope you’ll check out the movie and consider taking a few students to see it as well.

Sunday #2

2007-02-18T15:00:00.000-06:00

Sunday number one was at Disney World and we visited the church of the Magic Kingdom. Today is Sunday number two and I visited my local Catholic parish for mass. There are a few things I noticed for reflection:

The Scriptures are held in high esteem – literally! The priest this morning paraded an ornate Bible around the front, holding it above his head as he made his way to the lectern where he read the Scripture lesson. Now, I don’t think we need to walk around in our daily life with the Bible raised above our heads, but in our church, most don’t even bring a Bible. Do we really value the Scriptures like we should? Do we have the respect for God’s Word that we should? Is it a living, breathing, life-giving book, or just another book on our shelf? Maybe we should hold it up more often.
The parishioners stand for specific reasons. It seems in the protestant evangelical church we stand for musical worship and that’s about it. Why don’t we stand in reverence when the Scriptures are read? Why don’t we stand when we pray? Why don’t we stand in respect at other times in our services?
The people kneel for certain prayers. Now, I don’t really know why they kneel for some prayer and why they stand for others (I’ll ask a catholic friend this week), but what I know is we don’t ever kneel for prayer in our church. As a staff, we kneel in our weekly prayer time, but why don’t we encourage our congregation to kneel when we pray? This simple act of submission can be powerful.

I am looking forward to visiting a lot of churches over the weeks to come. At each church, I will be taking notes and asking questions about what is done and why it’s done. I hope I can learn a few things along the way that may help our ministry grow in richness.

Disney World

2007-02-18T14:57:00.000-06:00

What can I say about my first week of sabbatical? It was GREAT! I took my family to Disney World and had a ball. They really know how to make a vacation great, but you can also fall into some terrible pitfalls as you seek your grand adventure. Here are a few thoughts for making your time at the Mouse House a success…

Stay on Disney property – yes, it will cost you more, but the benefits are numerous and make for a much more relaxed and stress free vacation.
Get the meal plan and plan ahead – Disney offers a meal plan to those who stay on Disney property. It’s not cheap, and if you brought all your own food, you could eat cheaper, but it’s a great value if used wisely, and it allows for more stress free vacationing. Example – a typical lunch at Disney is about $10/person. Snacks around $3/person/snack, and dinner will range in cost from $20-$50/person. Your meal plan will cost you on average $25/person/day. If you plan ahead and make reservations (a must) at nice places for dinner each night, you’ll save a TON of money.
Relax – you’re on vacation – we say many families dragging their kids through the park and running them into the ground with a frantic schedule. Relax! Give yourself permission to NOT do everything.
Go between mid January and mid February – I have never taken my family to Disney, but have been many times with groups and this was the slowest I have ever seen the parks. We waited, at most, 20 minutes for all the rides. Most often, we waited under ten minutes. It was fantastic!

I don’t think we will ever do Disney again (not because we didn’t like it, but because it’s a lot of money), but it sure was a great week.

Sabbatical

2007-02-17T16:33:00.000-06:00

I love the church I serve!!! I have heard of sabbaticals for years. I served for 11 years in a college community and was accustom to professors taking sabbaticals to write or further their education in some way. However, in the church, my experience with sabbatical has been limited. I have heard of senior pastor’s getting some study time or some time off now and then, but have not heard of many who get a true sabbatical rest. In the same vein, I have heard of even fewer youth pastors getting a true sabbatical rest. It seems that this “year of jubilee” or “work for six days, rest the seventh” concept is not widely practiced in church.

Enter my church. When I joined our staff team five years ago this thing called sabbatical was on included in the compensation package was sated as being granted every five years. This twelve-week respite is granted to bless the pastoral staff a period of refreshment and withdrawal from the demands of weekly ministry. The elder team has an idea that, while on sabbatical, the pastor will spend time deepening relationships with family, the Lord, and strengthening their love and passion for their work. However, they do not demand a great list of “to do’s” that must be accomplished. Their primary desire is to see the pastoral staff renewed and to return to the ministry refreshed and ready for another term of engagement.

Well, after my first five years of ministry here at Christ Community Church, I have been just begun my first twelve week sabbatical. Let me say that I look forward to this time away not because I don’t like my work (I love my work), but because there is so much I would like to read, so much I’d like to contemplate, I look forward to having the time to do these things without the weekly demands of ministry. Most importantly, I am excited to reconnect at an intimate level with my maker. Ministry is to come out of the overflow of ones heart and my overflow was/is running low. I relish the opportunity I have been given to deepen my life with the Lord.

If you actually read this blog post, let me ask you to rejoice with me in the blessing I have been given, but also pray with me as I seek to use this blessing wisely and responsibly. I love my church and I look forward to returning to the ministry of Christ’s bride in twelve weeks.

New Books To Recommend

2006-12-12T09:53:00.000-06:00

Have you seen these books? They are the first two of a series of seven written by Kurt Johnston and Mark Oestreicher. Both Kurt and MarkO are life-long junior high pastors/workers and their experience and expertise shows in these first two installments. Book number one is entitled “My Faith” while the second is called “My Family.” Each are formatted with dozens of two page chapters designed to be a quick reference for students as they make their way through the turbulent years of middle school. Both are great and I look forward to reading and recommending the other five as they are written. If you have not picked them up, you not only need to do so, you need to recommend them to the parents of your young teens.

Check Yourself:

2006-12-06T09:11:00.000-06:00

Recently, I read this in a book called Practicing Passion by Kenda Creasy Dean. This is a heroin dealer talking to a youth worker.

“I’m going to explain to you Christians, who are such good preachers, why you are losing an entire generation. Listen, this is really all about being there.”

“What do you mean?”

“When Johnny goes to school in the morning, I’m there, you’re not. When Johnny comes home from school in the afternoon, I’m there, you’re not. When Johnny goes out for a load of bread for grandma for dinner, I’m there, you’re not. I win, you lose.”

WOW! It’s about “being there.” Are we really “there” for the students we work with? Now, another voice needs to be heard here as well. We can run ourselves raged trying to “be there” for every student in every situation. The bottom line here is that we must keep our focus. Remember why we are here? We are here to point students to Christ, the one who is always “here.” Often we think that we can be there all the time and we cannot. But, when we think we have to be we make our work about us, not about Jesus. That’s a mistake.

Kenda Dean, later says this: “Young people are so thirsty for God that they absorb every ounce of prayer, love, and energy we have to offer, thinking that our fidelity can suffice for God’s.”

Go after it – go after students – be there for them – but be there as a lighthouse – a beacon for Christ – a “voice crying in the wilderness, make straight the way for the Lord.” Be there for students, but remember, it’s not about you, it’s about Jesus.

No Stings Attached?

2006-12-05T07:17:00.000-06:00

What is the value in being a blessing to someone if they don’t know you are a Christian? This was a discussion a little while ago and one worth having. If, because I have Christ in my life, I am a bit kinder, more patient, and less rude with people in general (okay, I know just because I’m a Christian does not mean I am not a jerk, but when I’m living the way God wants me to…), is it beneficial to the Kingdom of God for one to show love and grace to another when the other person has no idea why you would do this or who gives you the ability to be so different?

What a Break...

2006-12-04T06:14:00.000-06:00

What a great couple of weeks. I don’t know about you, but a restful time started a few weeks ago at the National Youth Workers Convention. Okay, so staying up late and getting up early is not that restful, but what a great rest for my soul as I had time with friends and time to sharpen my mind and ministry. Upon arriving back at home, it was a day or two in the office and then thanksgiving. We had decided to not have middle school programming on thanksgiving weekend as our church was doing more of a family service in the main sanctuary. So, without programming to prepare for, I had a great five day break from the office. It was blissful. Time at home with the family is awesome.

Then, this past week, after two days in the office, Kansas City was hit by its first major winter storm of the year (okay, I’m from Green Bay, so this was NOT major, but there was a good amount of freezing rain followed by 8-12” of snow). It happened that this storm hit the city on Wednesday afternoon, so it caused us to cancel our mid-week programming. Then, school was out on Thursday and Friday. Another long weekend! I know we’ll be sad in the spring when school is still in session because of this, but it was great fun. A lot of time with the family and a great rest for the soul – all taken in with great thanksgiving.

Uptown Theater

2006-11-22T21:01:00.000-06:00

I'm hanging out tonight at the uptown theater in Kanas City watching a former student rock the house with his band. You can tell I'm old because I'm blogging about this during the show instead of jumping in the pit. These guys are all in high school & are good. They won the battle of the bands club wars this fall & are getting quite a bit of local play time.

oh yeah! I'm a groupie!

Small Groups

2006-10-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

Last Friday at the Austin NYWC I had the chance to speak on middle school small groups. This morning I was laughing out loud (sorry Kurt) when I read Kurt Johnston’s blog about oversleeping on Saturday. We were up late on Friday at the ideas lab and I told Kurt there was NO WAY I was getting up to attend his gig at 8:00 – I guess he didn’t want to get up either J

So, as far as my seminar – it was good fun and I enjoyed the time. Although I though the time was well spent, there were a few things that I will change for the Cinci convention. We definitely need more time for Q&A. In the ideas lab there were several pragmatic small group questions. I was reminded that often we attend seminars for the answers to some pressing questions we currently have. Also, I think it would be good to make sure we spend some time talking about how we can be creative in our small group time.

If you were going to sit in a seminar on middle school small groups – what would you want to hear?

The State of Junior High Ministry:

2006-09-11T08:57:00.000-05:00

George Barna has come out with another research study that says 61% of students who were involved in church youth ministries as teenagers have disengaged from the church during their 20’s. My question becomes what are we going to do about this? I think that many are beginning to ask this question in relation to high school ministry. Yet, the root of this problem may be found in the junior high ministries. I have seen more and more high school ministries taking the task of discipleship and equipping more seriously. Yet, how are we, in junior high ministry doing? Are we still running “run and gun” offenses? Are we more about fun than discipleship? What does serious discipleship look like in the life of a squirrelly, ADHD, fun-loving 12 year old? One of the final paragraphs in this study states…

“Much of the ministry to teenagers in America needs an overhaul – not because churches fail to attract significant numbers of young people, but because so much of those efforts are not creating a sustainable faith beyond high school. There are certainly effective youth ministries across the country, but the levels of disengagement among twentysomethings suggest that youth ministry fails too often at discipleship and faith formation. A new standard for viable youth ministry should be – not the number of attenders, the sophistication of the events, or the ‘cool’ factor of the youth group – but whether teens have the commitment, passion and resources to pursue Christ intentionally and whole-heartedly after they leave the youth ministry nest.”

Having read Kenda Dean’s “Practicing Passion” I have also wondered what it looks like to stir this kind of passion in a 12 year old. If it can be done, what does it look like? It certainly will look very different from that of a high school student.

May we not settle for the average, same old, easy, game filled, shallow, junior high ministry. May we be in the business of discipleship and transformation.

Training Day

2006-08-30T17:10:00.000-05:00

Saturday was our second annual YouthWorker Training Day here in Kansas City. This is a day for paid and volunteer youth workers which seeks to equip and launch them into a new year of ministry. This year, our general session speaker was Chris Folmsbee of SonLife. I have known Chris for about a year and it has been a blast interacting with him. He’s a thinker and he pushes me to think outside of my box. He did a fantastic job inspiring our volunteers to bring students into the presence of Jesus. As leaders we are not called primarily to program or hang out or have fun, but rather to show Jesus to students. This can happen in our programs, in our hang out times, and in our fun times, but it does not always happen. The questions become “why not?” and “what are you going to do about it?”

The day also includes two seminar sessions which are taught be local youth workers. These are sometimes really good and sometimes not so good. They are good when the presenter remembers… 1) the audience is primarily volunteers who help in ministries and 2) keep it short. The seminars are a real bummer when the audience is filled with volunteers and the presenter spends the entire time talking to them like they were the lead youth worker – or able to make final decisions. They are also a bummer when the presenter feels like they must communicate 3 hours of material in the hour they have.

Overall this was a great day and those from my team who attended seemed to be glad they did.

Go 24...

2006-08-28T08:36:00.000-05:00

Last night was a good night for my favorite TV Show, 24.

lightning Strike

2006-08-28T08:20:00.000-05:00

Friday I was sitting in my office doing a bit of catch up work. It was a bit stormy out and all of a sudden "CRACK!" It was the loudest thunder clap I had heard in a long while. In about a three second time span I heard the clap, thought in my head "holy cow, that was close," and then saw a shower of wood splinters coming down in the parking lot out front. Lightning had struck the big oak tree behind our neighbor's property (a pet crematorium - cool place) and had splintered one large limb all over the place. No one was hurt and no property was significantly damaged.

Fantasy Football

2006-08-22T06:05:00.000-05:00

Last night I participated in my first fantasy football draft. It’s funny, last year was the first year I “played” fantasy football. I say “played” because I was paired with someone who knew what they were doing and I really just watched as he did all the work. This year, I am in two leagues. The first, last night’s draft, is with our church staff. It’s a ton of fun to badger each other from week to week and I look forward to it. However, I noticed yesterday in preparation for the draft that my inbox was hit like 50 times with banter back and forth between staff members. I read an article a week or so ago about how work efficiency drops during the season – I now know why – I’m not sure any of us got as much done as we normally would and all I did was delete all the emails (and chime in once telling everyone to get back to work – I’m such a task oriented person). Anyway, here’s the team I ended up with – good, bad, or otherwise. Hope we do okay.

Hasselbeck, Matt QB SEA
James, Edgerrin RB IND
Lewis, Jamal RB BAL
Burleson, Nate WR SEA
Galloway, Joey WR TB
Harrison, Marvin WR IND
Davis, Vernon TE SF
Tynes, Lawrence K KC
Brees, Drew QB NO
Barber, Marion RB DAL
Bell, Tatum RB DEN
Robinson, Marcus WR MIN
Bills, DST DST BUF
Steelers, DST DST PIT

Baptism

2006-08-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was our annual summer baptism. Man, I love these days. It’s fun to see people make this step in their spiritual journey. I had the privilege of baptizing eight middle school students. Each is at a different place in their journey, but each was ready to make this statement to all who were present. Each was, in their own way, saying “I love Jesus and want each of you to know that and would like each of you to help me grow in my love of the Lord.” It was awesome.

These are some of the great blessings of youth ministry.

Scarred:

2006-08-17T11:03:00.000-05:00

Last night at 1:30 my phone rang. It was a 17-year-old girl from our high school ministry (a former middle schooler) who was staying at home alone and was scarred. She asked if my wife and I would come over and check things out. So, off we went. (BTW – I told my wife that she would not make a good emergency response team member as after this distressing call she got dressed, went to the bathroom, got a drink and wrote a note to our sleeping kids before we left). When we arrive at her house, she had also called the police – smart kid – and the officer, my wife, and I went into the house to see what was up. Turns out it was nothing but a scarred teenager – bless her heart. So, we brought her to our house and she slept in the guest room for the rest of the night.

Isn’t if funny what ministry to students throws your way sometimes?

Teens need love...

2006-08-17T11:02:00.000-05:00

Each fall, I host grade level cookouts at my house for the students in our ministry. For three Wednesday’s in a row in August students from one grade level each week pack into my house for burgers, hot dogs, and a chance to have some fun together. Last night it was the 7^th graders turn.

One girl stood out to me and grabbed my heart, as it was apparent all she really wants is an adult who will love her. Her home life is really screwed up, she lives with a grandparent that obviously does not really want her, and that after her own mother does not really want her. Her father is deceased and, in general, there are not many around who really look after her. Her other set of grandparents are Christ followers and I’m not really sure why she does not live with them, but I know there are some tensions there.

Bottom line is my heart hurts for the thousands of kids like this who just need love. We all have students like this girl who have been dealt a poor hand in life and who need some love and positive attention from an adult. Keep up the good work my friends, these kids need us.

I've got bad judgment

2006-08-16T14:55:00.000-05:00

Recently I was contracted by someone to create a team video for a 12 year old baseball team. I love to work with final cut pro and other pro tools to create video projects. It's kind of like creative memories on steroids. So, anyway, I thought it was a great idea (get paid to do something you love). In the end, I put together, what I thought, was a pretty good project. I used songs from POD, Toby Mac, Andy Hunter, along with Styx, Queen, and others. It was a great product.

After review from the client, they emailed me some complaints about the music. Now, it's important to note that I would not consider them to be up on what is hot with teens, and I know I am not as up on this as I could be, but being that I work with this age, I thought I could find a good balance between what they would like to hear and what the parents would find appealing. I guess I was wrong. What I got was a letter questioning my judgment. It's also important to note that this person knows I am a pastor and they attend one of the local Catholic parishes. My hope was to be a good representative of Christ as I strove for something excellent and beautiful. What I got was a questioning of my judgment and a diminished impact in the life of this family.

What I found humorous in the whole thing was the fact that the songs that were not acceptable were all the Christian songs and the 70's Styx song (These are the times) was "sexually charged" and not something that was appropriate for this age group. What I wanted to ask was "what do you think your son is listening to on his IPOD?" "What do you think the boys are hearing on the radio?" I refrained because the customer is always right. But come on...do I really have bad judgment? I hope not!

Summer is over...Hurray!!!!!

2006-08-15T22:42:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but I have a lot of mixed emotions about the summer (BTW - do you know what the definition of mixed emotions is? When your mother-in-law drives your new car off a cliff). In some ways I love the summer. It's a great time to hang with students, the weekly programs are less in number and take less time and energy to pull off (besides, interns do all the work anyway), and connections with new kids are awesome. BUT - I'm a guy of structure and routine and the summer kills me in this realm. The randomness of the schedule drives me crazy. Finding time to "get it all done" seems to be a constant problem (i.e. this blog - I haven't posted in months - I'm a dork). Well, anyway, school starts here in Kansas City this Thursday for most students. With this comes some sanity and some peace for a few weeks before our fall calendar gets into full gear.

For the two of you who read this blog - sorry for the absence - but the summer is over and my personal feelings about life and ministry get a lot more predictable.

Volunteers Rule...

2006-05-27T06:50:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had that feeling like "if she did not help me, I'd be sunk!"? I have! All the time. I don't know about you, but I love my work, but I also know that my work is very dependant on the volunteer staff that helps in our ministry. Without them, if the did not connect with teens, love on them, hang with parents, challenge kids, stay up late, listen to stories, etc, etc, etc..., there is no way our ministry would function. THREE CHEARS FOR VOLUNTEERS!

If you have not taken time to tell your volunteers how much you appreciate them lately, don't wait. Do it today. If, like me, you're a dork, and have a hard time being a bit creative about it, my friend Kurt wrote a great little book with Katie Edwards that gives you a ton of ideas. Check out Go Team.

We get DONUTS!

2006-05-25T15:39:00.000-05:00

Having a great time @ the game. We're actually winning (but the games not over). We have 12 hits. That means Krispe Kreme for everyone.

2006-05-25T08:13:00.000-05:00

My family and I are going to the Royals game today. They are SO BAD, it's not even funny. Last night the sports guy on the news just shook his head and said "I don't know what to say anymore, they're bad." Well, the good news is we got free tickets right behind home plate from a family in the church and because they are so bad, there will not be a crowd. I'm looking forward to a relaxing afternoon with the family.

It's that time of year...

2006-05-25T08:09:00.000-05:00

The beginning of summer. It is with bitter/sweet emotion that I welcome summer into my life. On the one hand, I love welcoming the new class of 6th graders into our ministry, on the other hand, my structured nature hates the chaos of the summer schedule. What's a guy to do? Deal with it, I guess.

I'm a bit tired lately - I usually get up at 5:00 am, but lately have been having trouble dragging myself out of bed at 6:30. I think part of this is due to the amount of work that needs to be done at this time of year (winding up the school year while preparing for the summer). My intern starts next week and that's always a blast, but comes with some "startup" time needed in helping her get going. Anyway, blah, blah, blah...

Family

2006-05-23T07:21:00.000-05:00

Family is a blast. We are finishing up the overlap sport season (that's the time in May when the Spring sports overlap with the summer sports and life is really crazy for a few weeks). Running to so many baseball/softball games and practices alongside the soccer games and practices can be a lot of running, but it is so much fun. I love watching and cheering my kids on. They make me laugh constantly.

My oldest will join my ministry next summer. I have serious mixed emotions about that one (you know the definition of mixed emotions is when your mother-in-law drives your new car off a cliff). If you have your own kids in your ministry, what advice can you give as I prepare for this new phase of life?

24

2006-05-22T23:15:00.000-05:00

HOLY COW! Was the finale awesome or what????? I loved it! The end of Logan was a bit predictable, but still very well done. Also, as soon as Jack was called into a building, I knew he was a goner, but I had NO IDEA it would be the Chinese again. I totally thought it was the mystery group that was behind Logan. WOW! I can't wait to see where they go with this next season. I LOVE THIS SHOW!

24

2006-05-22T09:09:00.000-05:00

Tonight is the season finale of 24 (my favorite TV show). I can't wait to see how Jack takes out Logan!!!!

In case you're interested...

2006-05-22T09:03:00.000-05:00

Last week, I mentioned that I was able to join some friends who are also in young teen ministry for a few days. This yearly gathering always feels like a family reunion of sorts. It's one of the highlights of my year.

I mentioned that we spend our time together talking about Scot McKnight's book Embracing Grace and what it means to communicate the Gospel to teens today. If you'd like to read more about this conversation, you can check out MarkO's blog. He has and will be posting the notes from our time on his blog.